Can't wait mate

Greetings brothers in iron. Before I start this week’s blog I apologise for the late post, but all is
not well in CAL land. Normally I never get ill, but last week I had MANFLU. For those that don’t know
about MANFLU it is like bubonic plague with knobs and bells and a fecking huge gospel choir with
supporting orchestra announcing to the world that you are unwell. Normally I STFU, man up, and crack
on: man flu, pah I laugh in your general direction! But dear chums, the MANFLU took a turn for the
worse and ended up in as MANTHRAX - a combination of MANFLU and ANTHRAX and is not nice.
I was unable to train and had to eat chocolate all week to keep up my strength – good times.
However the downside was I lost 4lbs bodyweight – bad times.

Anyway  HOTTIE has been unwell too and not training, To keep herself busy she had an identity crisis
and announced she is not happy being known as HOTTIE.  Fairy snuff I thought and suggested MINI
MILF. However cos she has never spawned rugrats she insisted on something else. I quite liked MINI
MILF and offered to do the gentlemanly thing and assist her in having kids, – strangely enough my
b*llocks still ache from the kick. Anyway this got me thinking about forum names. This week I have
been called the following:

CAL - a cunningly a shortened version of my name.
BIG CAL – happy with that, I am over 6ft and 18 stone.
BIG C – I blush modestly.
MR CAL – Very civilised conversation it was to.
BALDY – Its fecking shaven - for the record.
FATBOY – It was only the one kebab, STFU and live with it.
BIGBOY – See BIG C – happy with that.

Now MILF is worried you lot will think she is more GILF than MILF and I will try and persuade her
and her enhanced lady bumps to visit the squat rack and be photographed – watch this space.
In the meantime, this is what I have learned this week.

Flush          -      Not what you need to do to a protein poo.
Hormone          -     Is not kicking a lady of the night
Interval Training      -     Does not mean stopping to have a pie in between REPS
Ketones          -      Not the catchy bits in a song’s chorus.
Lipolysis          -     Not something to be found near the mythical clitoris
Mac RoNutrient     -     Not something from MacDonald’s latest range.
Peak          -     Not a holiday destination in the Lakes
Pure          -     Not a description of MRS CAL before I met her.
Ripped          -     What HOTTIE did to my head.
Shredded          -     Not a breakfast cereal.
Stacking          -     Is not placing your tins of tuna on top of each other.  

PS Do me a favour, 0ver 700 hits and hardly any comments, I don’t want smoke blown up my
butt but do let me know what you think.

Cal, you HAVE  to keep postings these.. how you come up with them is beyond me.. funny as hell!

MANTHRAX is pure class lol! And i hope the dreaded plague has gone!

Tell HOTTIE to not be shy.. we dont bite! lol

Over 6ft? you lucky so and so! im stuck at 5ft11! darn so close!

Do you manage to keep your eyes to ur self when training with such lovly hotties?

Quoted from Tankuk

Do you manage to keep your eyes to ur self when training with such lovly hotties?

Err yes. Honest guv. I think only of the the benefits of pumping.

loving it cal. defo think a pic is in order, chuck the MILF in on it too.

Cal i think this thread rocks and your one fab dude!!
forget the pics mate we want full on uncensored video! (psst we might be willing to pay a fee) lmao

will try to comment more often just hard to do when you carnt see from crying with laughter

This is pure class mate!!

Another bad week dumbbell humping dudes. It started well when MILF told me I was famous.
Apparently she was shopping and saw a loaf of bread and thought of me, but when she looked
closer, she realised it said THICK CUT: and she wonders why she is still single. Truly she is thicker
than the illustrated big print version of RKNEE’s new book.  

Anyway in a previous life, when my waist size was smaller than my age and I had more hair on my
head than on my back, I was a training machine. Nothing would stop me from hitting the gym.
However these days I need a kick up my lardy a*s and that’s where it’s gone horribly wrong this
week. CHUBBS, back from being camp, failed to parade, WANNABE BOY talked a good session but
the only way I’d get him to a gym would be to hide a barrel of lager and a pie vending machine in
there and HOTTIE and MILF were both tied up at work (no, not like that!).

So lacking in motivation, I fell off the wagon. A mere slip quickly became a huge crash with a side
order of almighty thump and ended as a gold medal winning, open-top-bus ticker-tape parade,
knighted by the Queen type of fall. However, on the bright side, during my darkest moment I
discovered bodybuilding’s ideal food: one which contains a perfect mix of protein, carbs and fat –
jaffa cakes. Well at least on PLANET CAL they do. After scoffing for Scotland two things got me back
on track: the arrival of a Tardis sized freezer which meant I could cook a lifetime’s worth of scoff, plus
I tried on the T-shirt PJ sent when I sold my soul to buy supplements. Talk about tight, feck me,
I looked like jelly wrapped in Clingfilm:  MRS CAL now wears it in bed but that’s another story – yeah
baby! Now I need a new T-shirt so hurry up and produce those British Bodybuilding T-shirts, but make
them man size.

Do you remember the other week I whinged about “THEM” – the lycra-clad aerobic freaks? Well dudes
its confession time – when I am not pumping, I am one of “THEM”. Before you disown me completely
let me explain. Sometimes I ride my pushbike and bully people into sponsoring me for some worthy
cause. In the last two years I’ve cycled London-Paris and John O Groats-Land’s End to name but two.
I had retired but, thinking of ways to get you lot pics of MILF and HOTTIE, I committed to a race between
Edinburgh and London and talked HOTTIE into riding with me. That means we’ll have a website where
you can donate (if you want) and actually see what we all look like – scary thought. Anyway time for me
to start training seriously cos soon there’ll be nowhere to hide, before I do, pass the Jaffa cakes!

like it cal!! i for one will be visiting that site for a little look! all the best mate

Quoted from MOONSHINE

like it cal!! i for one will be visiting that site for a little look! all the best mate

Cheers me dear, hopefully we'll have it up and running next week. I'll post details when I can.

Quoted from Cal

Cheers me dear, hopefully we'll have it up and running next week. I'll post details when I can.

I will visit it and support you but on one condition i dont wat to be looking at men in tight spandex lol or i will have to post some pics up of me in my assless chaps

Im sure i can spare a few pennys for a good cause!

Interesting read cal and always put in a funny way that cracks me up. Though stay postive mate, we all have a rough patch but once were over it..its GOOD  TIMES again!

Cheers Dudes, I'm truly feeling the love, not enough to wanna see Ricky in has assless chaps tho.
Busy times at the mo, been working through lunch and very late and neglecting my training. Back
on track next week - good times and better adventures to relate to ya'all.

Quoted from Cal

Cheers Dudes, I'm truly feeling the love, not enough to wanna see Ricky in has assless chaps tho.
Busy times at the mo, been working through lunch and very late and neglecting my training. Back
on track next week - good times and better adventures to relate to ya'all.

What you do as work then mate