Quoted from Cal

Cheers Dudes, I'm truly feeling the love, not enough to wanna see Ricky in has assless chaps tho.
Busy times at the mo, been working through lunch and very late and neglecting my training. Back
on track next week - good times and better adventures to relate to ya'all.

Ricky walks off hanging his head with dissapiontment as it seems he will never get to wear his assless chaps!!!

on a serious note only missis Ricky gets to see me in assless chaps and then she just laughs

Quoted from Tankuk

What you do as work then mate

Mate I work for the M.O.D, have been for a long time. Nothing too exciting though lol.

Quoted from Ricky

Ricky walks off hanging his head with dissapiontment as it seems he will never get to wear his assless chaps!!!

on a serious note only missis Ricky gets to see me in assless chaps and then she just laughs

RIcky, we'll get you to my gym with the BURDS and your chapps, and I promise not to tell your Missus lol!

Quoted from Cal

RIcky, we'll get you to my gym with the BURDS and your chapps, and I promise not to tell your Missus lol!

Thats a deal lol!

Gold as always, Cal.  

I feel like I want to add my own 'words I learnt' but I don't think I can match the power of Cal!!

SMITH MACHINE - Not used to pulling pints of draft bitter.
KICKBACK - Not what you do between sets when watching HOTTIE and MILF
WRIST WRAPS - isn't a heartily stuffed pitta bread of goodness
CHEST PRESS - does not evolve the rubbing of breasts together
PULLDOWN - is not a witty retort to BLOKE and ANOTHER BLOKE
DIPS (have you done this one?) - don't come in a variety of flavours
HAMSTRINGS - are not a pork snack

Quoted from G_Force

Gold as always, Cal.  

I feel like I want to add my own 'words I learnt' but I don't think I can match the power of Cal!!

SMITH MACHINE - Not used to pulling pints of draft bitter.
KICKBACK - Not what you do between sets when watching HOTTIE and MILF
WRIST WRAPS - isn't a heartily stuffed pitta bread of goodness
CHEST PRESS - does not evolve the rubbing of breasts together
PULLDOWN - is not a witty retort to BLOKE and ANOTHER BLOKE
DIPS (have you done this one?) - don't come in a variety of flavours
HAMSTRINGS - are not a pork snack

G dude - awesome, I feel my work here is done, Time to ride off into the sunset wearing Ricky's assless chaps - Brokeback mountain
here I come - NOT! You know I'm gonna have to try twice as hard next week to top that! Anyway I have an idea for another thread - how
about a problem page in Pointless Banta? I reckon Dr Cal could solve any problem chucked at him - the answer may not be politically
correct but it may amuse - whatcha think? Oh and I'll still keep this one going.

Go for it! Sounds like a plan.  

Hey ho fellow dudes of iron. You will be pleased to hear good times are back. I’m hitting the training hard
again and to celebrate my return HOTTIE designed a new T-shirt. It’s black, man size and reads “I DON’T
KNOW DIDDLY SQUAT BUT I KNOW SQUAT”. I laughed but MILF, being a few grams short of her daily
protein quota, didn’t. I tried to explain and failed: bless her, she’s “special”. Then she asked why, if she
was “special”, was she still single? I told her it was because she has ED ZACHARY disease – her face is
ED ZACHARY like her a*se and she believes me cos I have a new T-shirt.

You know that laminated floor you find in the discount section of B&Q? Some of it has appeared in the
corner of my gym. You know the kind I mean? The sort that they have in a Blackpool B&B when they push
the tables in the lounge up against the wall, hang up a glitter ball and hey presto instant dance floor.
Anyway I spoke to SOMEBLOKE who told me the 2.5m2 floor was not for disco dancing but for use
by POWALIFTAS. Well the only LIFTA I’ve ever heard of is a SHIRTLIFTA and I wonder if there is a
connection? I think there must be cos the floor has come with shiny new LIMPDICK BARS and some very
pretty plastic coloured plates. FFS what next, pot plants, net curtains around the mirrors, and YMCA
blasting from the speakers? I’ve not seen anyone use them yet and ANOTHERBLOKE thinks these
POWASHIRTLIFTAS are shy. CHUBBS told me it was all about ELFNSAFETAY and to use the floor they
have to do a course, wear a hard had and goggles and look like the builder from Village People, but I
don’t believe him cos his main food group is HAR*BO. To be honest I feel sick in the mouth just thinking
about it all. Anyway talking of plates, I think some of the guys on the forum must be part-time waiters
cos I read they can lift 4 plates on either side and that’s more than MRS CAL can manage when she
brings my tea to the garage.

I’ve tried to get some new friends this week and asked TAM and FOOTSOLDIER if they fancied an outing.
Maybe I should have said social cos now I think they think I thought they were POWALIFTAS and I don’t.
I just want some mates, not the GEORGE M*CHAEL bring-your-own gimp-mask-and-cuffs kinda mates,
but the manly-lets-talk-about-how-much-weight-we-can-bang around, drinking beer, talking sport kinda
mates. Maybe next time I’ll suggest meeting for a cup of tea.

That’s all for now and since I’ve hit the 100 post mark, and this thread has had over 1000 hits, I’m off
to celebrate. I’ve heard I can buy a POWALIFTING SOOT and think if I get a double breasted one with
wide lapels I might get some new friends. Catch ya next week.

hehe what a week for you eh mate? well fear not, your always welcome to come train in Worcester if you some how manage to be down this way!

Yeh the four plate lifting is some what hardcore isnt it   Im stuck at 120kg my self.. So PJ some what kicks my a** in that department but hey..hes a beast!

So Cal, enjoying the sun?

Cheers Tank, I might take you up on that as long as I dont have to wear me POWASHIRTLIFTA SOOT.
And yes it is sunny!

Gentlemen dudes of Iron. I'm having a week off, still training but not writing this blah - however expect a HUGE tale next week. My  
charity website is now up and running, unfortunately no pics of THE BURDS just yet but both will be on there soon. Catch you soon
- train hard.

Whats the website addy?

Quoted from Tankuk

Whats the website addy?

Tank here it is:

http://bigbikeadventure.blogspot.com/

Basically 1 Burd (HOTTIE AKA PRINCESS), 3 Blurks, 4 bikes, 700 kms for Cancer research and Help for Heroes. All that and you get to
see a photo of me in lycra   The charity logos take you to the sponsorship pages - and I'm not the small fat bloke in the big photo,
but I am the big bloke in the small photo on the main webpage!

Dudes, finally back from my adventures and ready to post tomorrow. Hope you haven't missed me too much lol
Cal

Good day to you my perfectly buffed and firm-cheeked dude chums. Mucho apologies for my recent
absence from these pages. I had thought to tell you a huge tale of derring-do, work and study but
since we are all special chums I thought I’d just be honest. I’ve not been training much cos I can’t be
ar*ed. But of course for the benefit of preserving my macho status, I’ve not been training cos “I’ve pulled
something”. Before you start there was no pulling of anything in the presence of the BURDS and I couldn’t
pull anything – even in a brothel with a bag of diamonds tied to my bell end – anyway. Even though I’ve
not been pumping I have been training HOTTIE and MILF so I have been spending time around the iron.
So because I’ve not been squatting till I puke I’ve had some time to watch and listen to some of the
things going on around me. Normally I bang the IPOD on, get into PLANET CAL and loose myself for an
hour or so. But without the muzac I’ve heard some real cr*p this week. That got me thinking about
things you hear in the gym and what they actually mean.  For example:

“It’s all you” = No it’s all me you lazy tw*t.
“Just one more” = “It’s still all me you lazy tw*t”.
“I’m maxed out” = I’m a lazy tw*t.
“Can I jump in?” = I’ll lift that easily and make you look like a lazy tw*t.
“You done with those weights?” = Put them away you lazy tw*t.

Other things I’ve learned this week:

Collar – not what is required for entry into a trendy club.
Dipping Bar – Not a place with breadsticks and salsa.
Drying Out – Not the place MRS CAL goes when she gives up SPESHULL BROO.
Form – Not a gym application.
Giant sets – Not some reps done by a very tall fellah.
Judging rounds – Not a trip to SUBWAY to admire their sandwiches.
Lock out – Not when the pub door is shut.

Right get your butts to http://bigbikeadventure.blogspot.com/  
click on the bit that says TEAM BONES BIG BIKE ADVENTURE and please sponsor me
and HOTTIE on our epic bike ride. Incidentally if you have a bike and want to join us on
some of the way or even meet up with us for a beer I can PM you route and date details.