4 weeks of fricking injury has turned me into the fattest bloater ever. I need to loose weight quickly to fit into my uniform. I've tried sh*gging MRS CAL lots but that just makes me feel sick, I've tried licking raw chicken but that just made me feel horny, I've even thought about sticking pictures of TANK and RICK to my fridge door but that made me feel sick too. I've got 4 weeks to loose a stone, whats your suggestions.
An ashamed Dr Cal
Cal All round Good Egg & Gentleman by day Dr Cal by night.
I suggest taking missis Cal from behind then just as your going to enter her ram it up her back passage thus making her buck like a crazed bull whilst you hold on like you life depends on it thus being a mean and satisfying cardio all in one, after witch then tell her she looks like a pig as you leap off then have to do some marathon like running whilst being chased by missis Cal thus the cardio is sorted! as for the eating part i will send you pics of me in my assless chaps and Tank in his pink mankini to put on your fridge wich should stop you from ever going near the fridge or food again, if this fails we can turn up donning our mankini and assless chaps to gaurd your fridge in person and even chase you up the road for cardio! If all this fails then there is one thing left that may help --- my nan-in-law is like a randy dog and can shag for days once given a shot on the defibrilator so i can send her round if you wish
love ya for trying, but some slight flaws in your master plan:
1. MRS CAL is used to getting her back doors smashed in and besides doing her is like chucking a sausage up the Mersey Tunnel. However, to get any reaction I would have to wake her up as I was shagging her. As soon as her eyes open the nagging starts and I would have to bury her under the fecking patio.
2. I appreciate the gesture of sending naked pictures to me but I've got a copy of "Rick does Rickmansworth" and lets be honest, you weren't at the front of the queue when God gave out the tackle. So if I stuck some pics of you to my fridge I'd be in hospital having cracked my ribs with laughter - eh Mr Chipolata?
3. Your Nan-in-law ..............er PM with the details, there's a good man
Dr C
Cal All round Good Egg & Gentleman by day Dr Cal by night.
Get your f...... jaws wired up. I knew a fat Bastard in my Regiment who wanted to be in the Pigs.
Cheers Donny, but if I get my jaws wired that will surely stop me going down on your Missus? Besides I can still suck PIE through a straw...mmmmmmmmm.....................pie
Cal All round Good Egg & Gentleman by day Dr Cal by night.
it will also stop you from going down on my missis,mother in law and nan in law meaning i would have to do the lude striaght mans act wich is a big no no, as with the size of my little chipolata i cant pleasure a chawowa let alone a female so all i can do is reside to taking it up the chuff from various muscley men that pay hard cash leaving the females unsatisfied
it will also stop you from going down on my missis,mother in law and nan in law meaning i would have to do the lude striaght mans act wich is a big no no, as with the size of my little chipolata i cant pleasure a chawowa let alone a female so all i can do is reside to taking it up the chuff from various muscley men that pay hard cash leaving the females unsatisfied
Mate you KNEW those assless chaps would pay off one day. Oh, for the record, your Missus doesn't like foreplay! Hang on, none of this is helping me loose weight.
Cal All round Good Egg & Gentleman by day Dr Cal by night.
Mate you KNEW those assless chaps would pay off one day. Oh, for the record, your Missus doesn't like foreplay! Hang on, none of this is helping me loose weight.
well thanks for letting me in on that as i have now found out i have wasted ours of my lifes trying to pleasure my miserable missis with foreplay when i could have just got on with the deed of throwing a bannana up the high street!!!
as for the weight loss --- fasted cardio, restricted calories, more cardio, and plenty of water
well thanks for letting me in on that as i have now found out i have wasted ours of my lifes trying to pleasure my miserable missis with foreplay when i could have just got on with the deed of throwing a bannana up the high street!!!
as for the weight loss --- fasted cardio, restricted calories, more cardio, and plenty of water
Started back this morning. 30 Mins cardio, 30 mins arms, 15 miles bike - tons of water, decent food = Good times!
Cal All round Good Egg & Gentleman by day Dr Cal by night.
Started back this morning. 30 Mins cardio, 30 mins arms, 15 miles bike - tons of water, decent food = Good times!
good going mate and you didnt have to service my nan-in law for cardio either lmao, im getting i new bike soon (no not neighbourhood slut i mean a push bike) as i really enjoy mountian biking , mainly because im out in the new forest so can just go across all the forest paths,hills etc! all the best for the fat loss mate
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